The Paradox of undying Love.

Love is so magical! It gives you strength to heal but when it expires before the time you have imagined to be it takes back the strength you gained and sometimes beyond. The first sight of you captured my innocent heart when you welcomed me with your open arm where I shared some good times of my life. When I entered in a relationship with you i never, ever thought of ending. I didn’t know when, I won't know how, and i won't even begin to imagine it happening in some terrible fashion as if humanity never exist, how can you accept a break up with single SMS which reads “let’s break up” it almost took few minute to understand this three words while I can feel numbness in my body, I can only hear my own heart beating against my chest, the second hand on the wall clock strikes louder than ever questions started shooting from every angle at me as if I am shooting target so with heavy heart and unconvinced mind I asked her “Is there no part left in you that sees us together?” she responded “no sorry. I don’t want to uproot your whole life you will get better than me dear” but fact is you closed my better side and uprooted my life upside down, I just saw even an emotion has a expiry date so I decided to lower my breakup standards. Anyone in the future could literally leave a note with my doorman or comment on my blog or have their mom call me and tell me, it wouldn't hurt as bad as someone you care about ending it all, ending everything, over a single text message. To ease my pain I had my first test of alcohol, I can still remember her telling me you are just one vision of perfection were she feels so secured to be in my hand the day she will leave me would be the day when she inhale her last breath if so is she going not going to breath anymore for the rest of her life, her romantic words still echoing in me. Can a human race stop promising that can’t be kept? Can I? Can she? While innocents falls victim, what can keep the trust grow stronger? Everyone thinks "It was better this way then you don't get too attached" Well not for me. She played with my mind so much that I won’t repeat all the amazing things she said that no one has ever said. She played with my emotions so I've been dealing with depression now, my self-confidence is very low. When she complimented me with “you will get better than me” I felt like I was getting some of my self-confidence back, but how I can give the scared heart? Or who will handle an injured heart? Making of my heart takes my physical as well as emotional and spiritual self it engages my social and moral ethics it took moment by moment, breath by breath to this physical sight as I am so is my heart. I literally feel like no one cares. Of course there's countless consolation but they don't understand! I don't want to be seen in public anymore I feel like everyone sees how worthless I am. I hate myself like I actually hate everything about me and no matter how many times I will say "I'm fine," something will always be missing forever! No one had ever made me feel how she made me feel. Someday, somewhere someone might also go through their down falls but some are better in expressing while others keeps enclosed confidential in their memory list with the new day I look forward to a new beginning and I will say that a better time awaits ahead but your action takes a permanent refuge in my memory because There are better ways to break up with me.